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April 5th, 2009
 | 09:48 pm
anxiety has been my ever present comrade for the past five days. i can't see myself getting rid of it anytime soon, so i guess i'm just gonna have to get used to it.
everything's just a jumbled mess right now. nothing makes sense and i feel like a failure.
i am not enough.
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April 1st, 2009
| 12:22 am
giving myself a peptalk to get through tomorrow alive. people go through first days at work all the fucking time, i'm gonna be just fine, more than fine in fact. it's gonna be fucking fantastic. i'm gonna learn the ropes quickly and in no time i'll be a valuable asset to my department. i'll get along with the people there and i'll be familiar with the places to be and the ways to work. everything's going to go smoothly and this will give me lots of great experience future-wise.
this is also good experience on the starting-a-new-job-and-surviving-it front. learn to trust yourself, have confidense, have better self-esteem.
GROW THE FUCK UP!
Current Music: iris - waves crash in
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March 27th, 2009
| 12:21 pm
No fever anymore, just a cough and a sore throat and the rest.
But now I'm suddenly dreading next Wednesday, the start of my new job, something I've been looking forward to a long time. I need to talk myself out of this.
Everything will be fine.
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March 26th, 2009
 | 11:12 am
I feel like shit.
Woke up at 4.30 in the morning to dreams of being too hot and shivering at the same time. Well, turns out I was dreaming of real life. Hooray. Kept falling back asleep only to wake up again in twenty minutes, bodytemperature ranging between 101.6 degrees Fahrenheit and 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit. Mostly I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.
So I'm going to see a doctor at 1.20pm today and hopefully I'll get the next couple of days off work. Hopefully. I just keep wishing the fever won't go down before that so the doctor will actually believe me.
My head. It is a hurtin.
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| 12:38 am
I hate being sick.
The Artist is back home. In a miserable mood too, as far as I understood. What joy.
I'm going to sleep now, and my only wish is for tomorrow morning to be a healthier one.
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March 25th, 2009
| 09:21 am
Jesus Fucking Christ.
The Artist has been off somewhere, cat-sitting or something, for the past couple of days, and today her possessed stereo decided to to give me a pretty nasty wake-up call. Here I was, peacefully sleeping and minding my own business when the stereo in question decided it was high time to switch itself on, open the CD deck and start blasting off radio commercials at top fucking volume. The best part, though, is that when I hobbled to the damnable thing and figured out how to turn it off, it just kept switching itself back on and on and on. So in the end, I was forced to macgyver myself to the source of the problem and unplug the fucker.
As much as I love new toys and electro trinkets, sometimes I wish electricity itself didn't exist. And I bet all the neighbors wish WE didn't. Oh well.
On other news, my throat is being a total cunt face right now. It fucking itches! Like mad! I just feel like shoving a toothbrush down there and scratching, but I doubt that would end well. The fact that the itching is also extended to the general area of my eardrums isn't too promising either.
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| 12:40 am
For some totally bizarre reason, the following post had me giggling out loud. It's just so totally random that the only reaction one could have to it is spontanious laughter.
http://www.holytaco.com/celebrities-riding-invisible-bicycles
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| 12:09 am
When I dream, I dream of your lips
when I dream, I dream of your kiss
when I dream, I dream of your fists
your fists.
-- Placebo
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March 24th, 2009
| 10:58 pm
I have had the oddest couple of days here.
Yesterday, I was struck by a fever. Completely out of the blue. No sore throat or cough or even the barest hint of the sniffles, just a damnable fever. This morning, the fever was replaced by some mysterious throat issues. No soreness per se, just this weird feeling like maybe it's going to be sore in a day or two. And my voice has been totally screwed up all day. I SOUND like I have a sore throat and then some. Odd.
The person staring at me from the bathroom mirror has also been giving me the creeps. I mean, that can't really be me, can it? I look nothing like that. It has to be someone else. Even odder.
On a more normal note, I have work tomorrow, and I just know what pain it will be. Four off days will do that to you. I'm looking forward to the beginning of April when my hours will increase by, oh, 35 per week. Im taking bets on how long it will take for my head to explode under all that pressure.
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| 09:39 pm
i wasnt aware that i had an insanejournal. when the hell have i created this one? was i drunk at the time?
i scare myself sometimes.
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